I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
