I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
