apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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