hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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