i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
