is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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