i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
