weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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