no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
