Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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