Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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