Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
