The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She told me I should be a condom model.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
