if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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