whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
