So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
