The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
