at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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