The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
