he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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