Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
