i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
