Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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