OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
