He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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