You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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