Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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