i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
