Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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