i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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