i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
