i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
