Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
