We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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