I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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