It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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