Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
