I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
