You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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