i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
