worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
