I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
