i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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