Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
