Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
