I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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