I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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