i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
