a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
