I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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